The Younger Years

There are some days that I wish my kids required less of my attention and there were less messes to clean up after. I'm pretty sure I say once a day that I wish there were more hours in the day to keep up with all of life's demands. I know I feel like this a lot because I'm taking online courses to try and complete a bachelor's in Elementary Education. I've been feeling stressed with trying to understand Biology while not neglecting my children. It's funny how Janen will sometimes ignore me when I particularly want to play with her, but as soon as I crack open a textbook it's, "mommy, stop reading! Talk to me!" Yeesh.  And there are some days that my sweet little Elsie is a bit more needy then I can take on. She usually cries if she can't see someone for too long which I can easily remedy, but there are some days that only snuggling her will get her to calm down. Which always seems to happen when I'm in the middle of making dinner or taking an online test.

But as I looked at my girls in their beds sleeping last night, I wanted to stop time and keep them my little girls forever.


 Janen is 37 inches tall and growing and will soon outgrow her toddler bed. The conversations I have had with her lately are hysterical. She loves to make us laugh and she thinks she's hilarious. I love how much she talks like an adult. If I call her to come over to me she'll say, "I'm coming Mom. Don't worry!" or if she senses that I'm stressed she'll say, "it'll be ok mommy. Don't worry." (love) I will miss how she asks me once a day if she can snuggle on the couch with me. I always say yes, of course, and she immediately goes to her room and grabs her lady bug pillow and favorite blankie that GiGi (Jeannie) made. I love how talkative she is after she wakes up in the morning. She really loves to help us out around the house as well. If I throw away a diaper she gets upset that I didn't ask her to do it. Or she'll come up to James or I when we are doing a chore and will say, "Can I help you please?" When we tell her we would love her help, she responds with, "ok, thank you. I love to help!" And I especially love the funny giggle she does when we tell her she's earned a treat or when we agree to read her one more story or twirl one more time with her before bed.

I was snapping some photos of Janen at the park the other day....

 

And she told me that I needed to take pictures of her "guy" too.

So she held him up and said, "say 'cheese' guy. cheeeeeese."

Now on to Elsie. This girl is seriously a smiley baby. When she smiles, you can actually hear it. It usually happens when she wakes up from a nap happy. Her tongue will click on the roof of her mouth as her smile quickly becomes a huge grin. I will miss this dearly when it's gone. I already miss that Janen no longer holds onto my fingers and I know I'll miss this with Elsie. She's got quite a grip! I love how happy she is when she wakes up. I love to hear her talking happily in her pak n play in the morning. I love the way her head moves from side to side when she wants to eat. And although I'm not a huge fan of nursing, I'll miss nursing her (when she's calm) and when she occasionally takes a break, looks up, and gives me a smile. I'll miss the way her hands interlock and fold. Sometimes it looks like she's praying or in quiet meditation.

When I'm feeling bombarded by life's daily demands or feeling down on myself because I'm not as fashionably put together as so and so, I hope to think back on this. It's hard not to compare myself to other mommies. Wondering how they lost weight so fast/how they have time to do their hair/makeup/a project. How they are able to keep their house spectacularly clean whilst cooking a cake from scratch. For me, all of that is mathematically impossible as long as I am in school and taking care of my children and the household chores on my own during the day. Luckily, my girls are at an age where me staying in my pj's all day doesn't embarrass them. So even though I wish they could take care of themselves at times so I can study for a test, I know the day will come when they won't want to snuggle with me anymore or when easy-going smiles and laughs might become frowns or annoyed scoffs and I'll be wishing I could turn back the clocks. So today, I'm planning on snuggling my girls all day long and leaving the dirty dishes in the sink for a few hours longer.