Why am I up at this hour you ask?

Cause this pregnancy likes to kick me in the teeth! I'm sure some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that I feel like CRAP all the time. Believe you me, I wish I was....Sunday was a bit of rough day so I stayed home from church and slept A lot! Waking up periodically to eat a small meal every 2 or 3 hours. Monday rolls around and I'm feeling a step up from the day before. I even went over to a friend's house from the ward with my sister-in-law Lindsey to watch the finale of The Bachelor (even though I didn't follow it at all this season) but it was good to get out for a couple of hours because I have been so anti-social the past several weeks from this morning sickness. More particularly, this last month. Tuesday comes and I'm feeling even better then I did on Monday! This gets me all excited and I even start doing chores around the house. My poor husband has been the working-man, the cook and the maid for awhile while I just watch helplessly from the couch. I wanted to be able to help out and was feeling extremely guilty for not being able to deal with this pregnancy better and do more. So I started cleaning and we have our apartment almost entirely clean. It was a monstrosity for a time there let me tell you and I hated the sight of it! I only lasted for a couple of hours, but I work in super fast mode and together, James and I got lots done!

Because of my two "good days" I was expecting to wake up on Wednesday morning as more or even more chipper then the day before, but no. Once again my morning sickness got the best of me and I spent most of the day in bed or on the couch. This one snuck up on me too! I had such high hopes that the worst had come and was over. Well, I could still arguably say that the worst is over because the Monday before last was THE WORST DAY of this pregnancy and probably the sickest I ever remember feeling in my entire life. It was awful! I always dreamed of having a big family with 4-6 kids, but if every single pregnancy is like this, I'm going to be rethinking how many of those children will actually come from me. I'll give it another go and see what happens with the second one, but for now we'll just think about the first one...

I think the second most frustrating thing for me about this unenjoyable part of my pregnancy other then feeling nauseous 90% of the time is the fact that I hate being pregnant. I really do! And I've always imagined that I would love it. Sure I didn't think that I would be spared of any unpleasant trips to the bathroom, but I didn't think it would be half this bad. However, I still have hope that by week 13 or 14 it will go away and I will have that mother glow because I'm sure right now, I do NOT have it. Today was the start of my 12th week. Here's to hoping! If not, my next Dr appt is on Monday and you bet I'll be asking her to prescribe me some anti-nausea medicine.